Well it has been a while since I've last blogged. A lot has changed, and a lot has happened since I was an avid blogger. I don't even know if people really "blog" anymore. But, for those that do, welcome back to my world.
To start...as I have mentioned a lot has changed for me. Most of you now know that I am no longer married. If you didn't know...then yes, you have heard correct...I am divorced. Single.
I finally feel comfortable enough to say it out loud without feeling like I'm the worst person in the world.
There were and still are a lot of assumptions as to why and I'm not going to go into details online, but know that both James and I felt it was the best decision for us. I know for me, I really learned a lot and to those almost 7 years I will always be truly grateful to James for what I learned.
Going through divorce was and is hard. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it was HARD. Besides the obvious of losing a partner...for me I struggled, and still do, with the words, and thoughts of others that know I'm no longer married. I cared and cared about what people thought of me:
Was it her fault?
What happened?
They're bad people for divorcing...
She didn't try hard enough...
Oh it had to have been her career in the arts...
Blah blah blah...
I've recently come to terms with the idea of..."why battle in my head something I have no control over?"
This has actually been a constant struggle that I've dealt with almost my entire life. You would think that after 28 years of life that you would have the concept of "don't care what others think" down. But I'm learning that it's not as easy as it sounds. I admire those that truly can put people's words aside and not let it effect them. It is something that I am truly learning every single day...which is hilarious to me that I am in the business of entertainment where I am judged and critiqued every time I step on a stage. :)
But just know, that I am doing well. I have leaned on a lot of my family and friends and am so grateful to them for their love and support. I too have lost friends due to assumptions or them thinking that because I'm divorced that I am now a "bad person." But you know what...that's ok. Those people are allowed to feel and think whatever they want, but I don't have to let it effect me.
For so long I've lived my life for other people due to being afraid of what they would think of me...and you know what...I'm not saying that it'll be easy and that it'll happen over night, but it's time to start living for me, for God, and for those that I love/love me in my life.
I really could go on and on about this, but I am happy to finally have my eyes open...and ever since my eyes have been opened sooo much good has entered my life.
In other news...I've been very blessed with the opportunity to travel parts of the world while doing what I love...performing. Performing has been a great healer for me, and continues to be a great healer. I truly am grateful to God for giving me the opportunities that I have had and continue to have, and that he has given me the gift of singing.
I have actually been offered another contract where I have been cast as a Production Cast Principal Singer. This time I'll be touring Europe. I leave in August for rehearsals and board the ship in Venice in September. :) I can't wait to see what these next 7 months have in store for me.
Peace and Love,
Kandyce Marie
good for you!!!! I'm glad you're blogging again.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back, sweet friend!!! I agree, it can be so hard going through an emotional time in life and not let the judgment of others affect us. If anyone thinks you should be able to handle that by now after 28 years, they're lying to themselves bc they struggle too. :) We can be thankful for God's grace alone and only he is our ultimate judge. I'm really excited for your next step with performing! Please KIT more and know that I'm praying for you often. XOXO
ReplyDeleteYay! Blogging is so therapeutic. I love to do it and I love to read it. Nobody knows what truly goes on in a relationship except for the two people IN it. It takes two. It's all about the mix of the two. Sometimes it's right, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it may be right for awhile and it may run it's course. We learn from each person who comes into our lives. Nothing is by accident. Nobody is at fault. It's your life and you have to follow your heart. Your path. The fact that anyone can judge you and that you have lost friendships over YOUR marriage and YOUR divorce is ludicrous! Talk about others projecting! It's no one's business. You know your path, and you know who is worthy of being in your life xo
ReplyDeleteBlogging IS therapeutic. I'm soo happy to be back in the blogging world. Thank you for your love and friendship middle name twin. You don't know how much your words truly mean to me, so thank you!! Love you so so much!! xo
DeleteKandyce,
ReplyDeleteI have always found writing to be such a positive outlet. I am glad that you are blogging and I look forward to each one that you post. I will have to keep checking back to see if you have written anything new.
Well, first off let me start with saying thank you. Thank you, for sharing a piece of you with me and for anyone else who will take the time to read your blog. I honestly had no idea that you were once married. I am so sorry you had to go through such a difficult time and even now I can see it is a sensitive subject still. I respect your openness but I admire and respect your decisions.
It is so understandable, to see someone as you with such a big heart worrying over what others say. You got such a good heart Kandyce. You project yourself to be someone who always wants to make those around you smile,laugh, and to feel wonderful and loved all by sharing your uplifting spirit. It's just the sad reality that people tend to judge and have something to say without hesitation or knowing the full situation. People like that are best kept far far far away... It's negativity.. No one needs that. Those Negative Nancies can get the stepping girlfriend!
You already know that the ones who matter the most, which are always the ones who LOVE you UNCONDITIONALLY and SUPPORT you will always be there no matter what! :)
And hey, if that means it's only your parents, siblings and a handful of close friends then baby girl you are blessed already because with their love and support, life becomes even more meaningful and you'll heal after time.. Take each day as it comes and start living for you! :)
Life is certainly a journey. And look, you got back home off your last Cruise to now get a new contract! Which, by the way I am so excited for you! Venice in September! Woot Woot!!! That is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!
Well, for what it's worth.. I think you're a FABULOUS woman Kandyce and I am glad I friend requested you a year ago when I found ya' on Joshy's Evans page! I hope we continue to be good friends even if it's on this Cyber Space Internet world or Facebook hehe :) If you should ever need a friend I am here! *point to myself* :P
Remember chica!
To thine self be true! xoxo
<3
I know we already talked about this on fb, but this is something I'll be looking back to often. Thank you!! xo
DeleteWow. I can relate to EVERY word of that post. EVERY LAST ONE! I didn't know others felt that way about being judged. In the community we come from, the judgement can be HARSH. Right after I announced I was divorcing I received text messages/emails/phone calls from people I'd once loved and trusted saying very hurtful, judgemental things. It broke me almost as much as the D did! Really!
ReplyDeleteBut, because we're survivors, we'll be/are okay. :-)
I'm sure you know, it only continues to get better and better and better. Every year!
thank you for being so honest. this meant a lot to me!
I think you are a GREAT person :) I'm glad all is well with you and things are good. You deserve to be happy lady!
ReplyDelete